A Beautiful Curse

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been able to understand everyone but no one can understand you? That’s what many empathetic people might call a beautiful curse.

There are many words used to describe people like this:
Empath.
High Emotional Intelligence.
Therapist.

Many people who are highly empathetic are sympathetic, patient, kind, often overthinking, and so on. They notice small patterns in behaviours and surroundings and even remember random details about others. When they first see a person who needs help, their first instinct is to help them in every way they can. Don’t we, as friends and family, have a moral obligation to help the people we love? Being able to read people is honestly very useful; they get to help their friends feel better, and they get to watch the people around them be calm and happy. 

But being able to read people comes with a curse, the curse of not being understood. And that can be quite sad. Many empathetic people have helped friends and family, listened to them while they ranted or told their story. However, when they need help, it becomes difficult. They end up confusing people. 

Their minds work differently, constantly processing and noticing everything at once. Words rush out, thoughts overlap and tangle together. Sometimes it can feel as though no one has ever been able to understand them for who they truly are. 

Don’t get it wrong—many empathetic people have some amazing friends, but no one quite understands them or ever seems to find the right words to tell them. Whenever conversations start focusing on them, the topic somehow changes. Sometimes they wish they could listen to themselves and help themselves, but that’s not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes people use them. They get themselves into trouble and come running to them with their problems, and mind you, only when they have problems. When solutions are offered, suddenly they don’t want to hear them. Empathetic people are expected to sit there, listen, nod, and never point out when others are wrong, even when they say the most awful things. 

These kinds of toxic relationships can seriously affect a person. Many empathetic people have been through it, and it can damage mental health significantly. Sometimes they shut their emotions down before they even understand them because they convince themselves that no one will truly understand them. But when those emotions finally come out, they can feel overwhelming because everything hits at once. Maybe that’s why empathetic people connect with others so easily, because they’ve often experienced similar feelings themselves. Still, it’s important to remember that friends aren’t therapists. People can care for others deeply, but they also have limits. 

Being an empathetic friend is never a bad thing; it gives many people a feeling of being whole and complete. However, setting boundaries is the important part. If someone treats them like an imaginary friend—someone they only use when required—they’re not worth it. 

Many empathetic people like to think they were gifted a beautiful curse. They were blessed with the ability to listen, to care deeply, and to help others smile, but cursed to feel alone and misunderstood at times. Still, it’s a beautiful curse. 

And no matter what, many would keep it. 

Because even if it feels heavy sometimes, they would never want to lose the part of themselves that lets them understand the world in a way others might not. 

By Mehreen Kabeer (Grade 10B)